Gaming has become a global phenomenon with millions of people owning some form of console in their households. One of the latest crazes with gaming is the massive online community that will welcome you once you hook up your PS3, Xbox 360, PC or Wii to the net. It’s now amazing to know that you no longer have to play by yourself, because you can now play with others.
However this process of online gaming is not as straight forward as it may seem, and if one approaches it without all the correct “know-how”, they could be in for a few disappointments. It is for this reason that our panel of experts has drafted the GCL Survivor’s Guide to online gaming.
1. Before you decide to purchase any game so that you can play online it is recommended that you find out whether or not the game has a relatively large local following. Trust us, being in a game with a Swede or a Frenchie is not as fun as it sounds.
2. Ensure that the game works on a peer to peer basis or that it has local servers, otherwise you’re bound to meet up with everybody’s favourite pal.. Mr Lag. He is not someone you want to make friends with.
3. Once you have completed steps 1 and 2 and find yourself immersed in the marvel of a local online game, introduce yourself and make friends with the dudes who have a high rank.
4. Learn to accept the fact that for the first few months you will probably be referred to as a ‘noob’
Prepare your excuses, you gonna need 'em
5. Do not swear at anything or anyone as this is not permitted for ‘noobs’ such as yourself, and it will potentially lead to you being cast out from this circle of trust.
6. Under no circumstance may you refer to any other player as a ‘noob’, when you yourself are in fact a ‘noob’.
7. At first, getting shot in the back, head or who knows where, will be a regular occurrence and so complaining over the microphone is a futile endeavor as it will get you nowhere as you may find your newly found peers doubling up efforts to ‘pwn’ you even more.
8. If you are taking part in a first person shooter. YOU MAY NOT CAMP! Camping is the process whereby a player sits in a single spot, usually behind a box, wall or any other object for any duration longer than 30 seconds. In their ever so static stance, they will continue to fire bullets and kill any passer by till they are discovered, murdered and possibly tea-bagged. Moral of the story? Run and gun baby! Run and Gun.
9. Once you have successfully made your way into the online community and you are part of the regulars, you will gain the prestigious ability to tea-bag. This is an act whereby you crouch over the dead body of an opponent and continue in an up-and-down motion to mimic the process of dipping a tea bag in water. However the bag is not tea and the water is now someone’s mouth. A word of caution to this tale..Be smart about who you tea-bag as payback can hurt a little.
Online gaming is comprised of a lot of this
10. Remember to have fun and not take it waaaay too seriously seeing as at the end of the day, its nothing more than a game.
Got it? Now you’re ready for the world of online. Be prepared, it’s a jungle out there!!
